Telling the Truth
by SecretSnow
Summary: takes place after Movie 6.It's time for Luffy to reveal to his Nakama what happened during the fight to save their lives.Apologies are exchanged and weaknesses are exposed as the truth is revealed.SPOILERS.
1. Realization

**Chapter 1: Realization**

This takes place at the end of the sixth movie: Baron Omatsuri and the Secret Island! (The one with the flower lily thing!)

**EDIT April 2, 2010: I'm rewriting the series, correcting grammar and spelling mistakes and rewriting some parts so they flow together better. The plot will stay the same, only the way it is said will be change. And for those that read this before, yes, I have since actually seen the movie now, which is why more corrections have been made.**

When Luffy saw the rest of the crew before him he made sure to look at each of them, ensuring him that yes, they are okay, as in alive, as in not-dead.

The pure relief and joy that he gained from the thought made him slightly dizzy but he continued to examine his crewmates, assessing for himself any injuries they might have obtained

After he assured himself that they were all indeed alive, blinking several times to make sure he wasn't dreaming, he laughed.

His nakama looked at him strangely than at each other. Luffy paid them no mind as he continued to laugh. The pure joy and relief that he felt overwhelmed him, he couldn't help but laugh to relieve some of the emotion. High of adrenaline and happiness Luffy sat himself up, not even feeling the wounds on his back and arms as they stretched and strained and reopened. Currently they weren't bleeding but if he wasn't careful they would soon.

He looked at his nakama who were still staring at him and flashes of memory started to flow through his mind unwillingly

"_There goes the racoon-dog."_

His laughter was slowing down but did not stop as another flash went by.

"_There goes long nose."_

His laughter was calming down immensely and the starting of a frown were beginning on his face. The others didn't notice as they were involved in their own conversation.

"_There goes a girl."_

Luffy's laughter had stopped completely and still the others paid no mind, assuming he had just calmed down.

"_There goes the cook."_

Luffy was now sitting still gaze unfocused as the day's events flew by in his mind. He glanced around again once more assuring himself that they were all okay.

"_There goes the other girl."_

He had been almost too late. The thought struck a cord deep with in him causing his body to shudder. '_It was too close'_ he thought as he gazed at Zoro.

_He watched helpless as his swordsmen, first mate, best friend and final Nakama fade away into the lily's ethereal light. A sense of peril and anguish and fear filled him as his head was forced back, having been stretched out as far as it could go, his gaze never leaving the place Zoro had once been. They were gone. They were all gone._

'_Far, far to close_'

He was shaking now. 'What ifs' began to fill his mind as different scenarios played like a cinema reel behind his eyes. What would Luffy have become if he had no Nakama? The answer was simple, nothing. Luffy tried to stifle back a sob as he remembered his nakama fade into the light, as he watched completely helpless. The sound that resulted was quiet, but not quiet enough, as it caught his loyal first mate's attention. Luffy was hunched over his hat covering his eyes and his shoulders shaking as he clamped his mouth shut as he was determined not to cry.

'_Not here. Not Now. Not in front of them. They need you to be strong._' Luffy chanted over and over in his mind. He could feel the swordsman's gaze boring into him as the laughter of the rest of the crew and the others filled the air.

"**Shut your mouths.**" Zoro's harsh voice filled the air; his gaze never leaving Luffy's hunched over, shaking form.

The others were staring at him at him at his blatant remark. Sanji opened his mouth, most likely to call him a stupid marimo head who has no right to tell others to shut up especially Nami-swan and Robin-chwan. But he and the others realized that although the first mate was obviously talking to them he was not looking at them, in fact, he was staring narrow-eyed at their captain.

The others' gaze followed his and toward the captain. They all stared wide-eye at him. Nami took a tentative step forward, most likely to attempt to see what was wrong when a quiet sound echoed through the air.

It was a sob.

Despite his best efforts Luffy couldn't control the emotions rushing through him like a waterfall. He tried to cover it up with a laugh now that he knew for a fact that the others were staring at him like he had grown a second, no a third head. But the sound that emitted sounded strained and almost strangled. He couldn't cry, not now with everyone watching. His arms were wrapped around himself, as if the motion alone would help hold his composure long enough to get back to the ship. It offered little comfort and only served to make him look even more pathetic.

The surge of emotions was suddenly overwhelming as he heard and felt another sob rip through him. His shoulders where shaking horribly as he curled into himself, even more so, until he was almost in a fetal position.

His crew was watching this scene unfold with wide eyes. Never before had their captain expressed emotion in this way. They only expressions that the crew could ever recall on him were happiness, anger and the occasional thoughtful look. They unconsciously believed that he couldn't feel sorrow of any kind, at least not true sorrow that could cause him to cry in this way, a soul-crushing heart-wrenching kind of sorrow found in the elderly men and women who had seen far, far too much. What had happened while they were unconscious that caused their captain to react this way?

The wonds that Luffy once couldn't be bothered to feel were now back with a vengeance that included warm sticky blood slithering down his back, soaking into his shirt and pooling around him. Head buried in his knees, the wounds on his arms began to open wide, as if gasping for breath, releasing crimson tendrils that _drip _dripped into the slowly growing puddle around him. The next sound the emitted from Luffy was a groan of pain as the self-awareness of his wounds began to affect him. The sobs were coming more frequently now as pain was added to the mixture of sorrow, relief, helplessness, anger, regret, and self-hatred that Luffy was feeling.

The shock that was originally affecting the straw-hat crew wore off as the blood pool around Luffy expanded at an alarming rate. Zoro quickly pulled his captain from his fetal position and realized that he had passed out from the blood-loss. He made a move to scoop the captain up and bring him back to the ship until a loud voice intervened.

"**NO!"**

To everyone's surprise it was their own Tony Tony Chopper who yelled out against moving the captain.

"If you move him his injuries will only get worse! Lay him on his stomach and remove that vest!" Choppers commands were loud and clear as he slipped into doctor mode.

Doing as he was told Zoro removed what was left of Luffy's red vest, how much of it was red from blood it was impossible to tell, and laid him on his stomach. What was seen shocked all of those present as dozens of holes covered their captain's back. Blood and pus seeped out as chopper began to clean and disinfect each hole in his back. Everyone remained silent as they all watched the young doctor work their captain wounds until the bleeding stopped.

Chopper silently signaled for Sanji and Zoro to help him lift their captain up as to wrap the wounds on his back. They walked over silently and the each took one of the captains freshly wrapped arms and lifted up into a somewhat sitting position, holding him there. The tear tracks on Luffy's dirt and sand coated face were clearly visible on his sleeping face. But no one said a word.

All of the crew stared at the captain as chopper worked. They took in his bloody appearance and they gazed at the scars that covered Luffy's torso from previous battles before they were covered up by bandages. Each scar having their own story some of which they mentally noted and checked off while others they had never seen before. _The scar where Arlong bit him _was one of the scars that were easily identified by the crew. But the _scar diagonally across from his left side to his right shoulder_. Was one none of them had seen before. But it looked to be old as it was nearly faded completely and would not have been noticed had they been not staring so intently at their captain. It looked similar to Zoro's own scar, obtained with pride from Mihawk, but this scar, deep and gashing and warped and shiny, looking like it had been ripped open repeatedly, was not a scar of pride…it was a wound meant simply for killing in a painful sort of way. The wound…a wound like that most certainly should have killed him.

They took in his matted hair, which was coated with sweat, dirt and blood both fresh and dried.

They examined his face which was also covered in dirt and blood but they also saw the tear tracks the lined through the grime. The salt from his tears probably weakened them they realized. That would mean that even if he wanted too Luffy wouldn't be able to cry because his devil fruit abilities cause him to weaken around if touched by salt. But that would mean that Luffy wouldn't be able to cry if he wanted too, so he must have smiled and laughed instead. The thought that their captain could be miserable without them knowing made the crew stiffen and scowl lightly at the captain. But the crew moved on with their silent examination of the boy, no man, that they call captain.

They took in his hands, though they looked smooth like a child's each of the crew touched his hands at one point or another and they knew that, in fact, those hands of his were covered in calluses and nearly invisible scars from all of his training. They were rough and strong hands that fought many battles. And, if turned into a fist, were often they reason of defeat for their enemies. But at the same time when they patted your shoulder or head or they squeezed your hand or arm in reassurance they felt soft and kind despite the wear that could be felt.

Although covered with bandages they knew that his arms were thin and scrawny but if he were angry or if one were to grab his arm they would feel or see the muscles easily as they flexed. The same went for his legs, with wirey tendons that seem to breate with a life of their own.

Captain, their captain, young and old and weak and strong and stupid and intelligent and kind and ruthless, an elastic mess of contradictory traits that made him the best and the worst captain they could ever ask for. He was a captain they would support and protect with their dying breath. Bit more importantly than that, something even more special than being a captain for whom they would willing die for, is that Luffy is someone they would gladly live for. Because dieing for someone, while is may be brave and nobel and ritegeous, is far to easy a path to take, one with no consequences for the person making the sacrifice, how can there be when he or she is already dead? No, living for someone is a far more noble goal, to be able to live for someone and face consequences and pain and sorrows with stide, that is the sign that a captain is truly good, when a crew is willing to live for them.

Their conviction was strengthened as they carried the broken, bloody mess of their child captain to the place they had all come to call home, a trail of blood droplets marking their path.


	2. Worring, Demanding, Loving

I am so happy! You have all made me so happy with your reviews! Here is the second part of _Telling the Truth_ made specifically for all of you who reviewed for me!

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Three days, four hours, twenty-seven minutes, and sixteen…seventeen…eighteen seconds since Straw Hat Monkey D. Luffy passed out. The Going Merry has been strangely quiet without its captain stomping around, demanding his meat, or playing hide- and-seek with chopper and Ussop. The crew has come to a silent agreement that loud, boisterous conversation should be held when their captain was well, he wouldn't want to miss anything after all.

After they placed their captain on the couch in the men's quarters, once again silently agreeing that he was in no condition to lie on a hammock that could irate his wounds further, they turned to the small, slightly pudgy ex-captain of the mustache pirates Brief for an explanation for their captains wounds.

"_What the hell happened to him!?" Sanji was the first to exclaim once Luffy was safely lying on the couch and they were out of the room. The question itself was directed to Brief and the family of pirates that obviously also knew what had happened._

_The family and Brief exchanged glances before looking at the crew of the infamous "Straw Hat" Luffy. It was the youngest of the Pirate family, Daisy, who replied, "How much do you remember and how much do you_ want _to know?"_

_Now it was the crew's turn to glance at each other before Zoro answered, "How much are you actually going to tell us?" Zoro, by far, was not an idiot. He could tell that something horrible had happened during the period of time that remained a blank to him. Judging by the way Luffy had……acted earlier it was a pretty big something as well._

_At that comment Brief smiled bitterly before saying, "I can't tell you everything, it's not my place to tell you after all, but I will give you a brief over view of what has happened these past few days." The crew glanced at each other again, their nervousness obviously displayed but their worry and curiosity won in the end before they nodded toward Brief._

_Brief nodded before he began telling what he knew. He started of by giving the history of this island. He told how Baron, the ex-captain of the Red Arrow pirates, tricked many pirate crews into coming to the island with lies of an island resort before killing them. Brief spoke of how his own crew had fallen victim of the Baron's killings but he managed to escape. He also told the Straw Hats of how the Baron deceived pirates into distrusting one another because the Baron loves to watch pirate crews destroy themselves. Brief told them all of this, completely skipping all the hurtful things they said to each other and to their captain, and how despite all that was said Luffy still fought to keep them from dieing. He didn't tell them because he knew that the young captain would have to tell them these things himself._

_By the time he finished the crew was quiet and subdued but that didn't stop questions from being asked._

"_So what your saying is……is that we were nearly killed by this Baron guy, and Luffy saved us……so why is he so…"Nami trailed off. She didn't want to have to finish her sentence but the other understood perfectly what she was trying to say: Why would their captain "Straw Hat" Luffy be so freaked out by that, when they have all been in near death situations before?_

"_Something…….happened I guess you could say. It was…scary to say the least. I won't tell you too much about it but I will tell you this much, your captain really did believe you all to be dead for a time. And….he…lost his will to…live. He wasn't going to live…not without you all. You should all be very grateful to have a captain who cares for you all so much, not many pirate captains are like that these days." Brief had struggled to say parts of his explanation. There were no words to describe the dead look in Luffy's eyes when he believed his Nakama to be dead. That lost, regretful, self-hateful look. He looked as if the sun would never rise again and that there really was no point in living anymore. But at the same time he looked angry, he looked so angry the Brief had told him that his Nakama were probably not dead hurriedly, from fear of that blood-lusting, angry, determined look in Luffy's eyes. Brief had been careful as to not mention that the chances of them surviving much longer were slim to none though, best to keep him as calm as possible._

_The straw hats simply stared at the short man with his funny hat and mustached that looked like nose-hairs. No thought really went through their minds as they contemplated what Brief had just said. They were brought from their musing by the young girl named Daisy again as she spoke so clearly and so full of confidence that even though she was so many years younger than them, they all know she spoke the truth in this matter._

"_He loves all of you very much. Don't you dare ever doubt or forget that."_

Since then, hardly a word has been spoken. Everyone has been too lost in his or her own thoughts to really speak them out load. Besides, everyone was thinking the same thing so why bother voicing it?

And then it happened.

What they had been waiting to happen for the past three days.

Luffy woke up.

(Ha-ha I considered ending it here briefly before I realized that you all would probably kill me if I did so I shall continue for all of you!)

Not a word was spoken as the captain's eyes fluttered open. His eyes were still half closed as he attempted to stretch out the kinks in his tired muscles that were stiff from disuse. Wincing suddenly the captain seemed to remember that he was still injured as he lifted his hand to inspect the damage.

"Captain-san…." Robin was the first to snap out of the trance that had been placed on her. Luffy looked up from his inspections of himself suddenly as he realized for the first time that he was not alone. So quickly that his crew barely caught it, the young captain inspected his crew himself. After assuring himself that, other than looking very tired, they had no serious injury. Luffy didn't even bother fighting the smile that over-took his face. He chuckled lightly before it turned into all out laughter at the sight of his nakama's faces that were varying from extreme shock to anger to extreme happiness.

This time Nami was the first to snap out of it as she bonked her captain upside the head and yelled, "What the hell are you laughing for?!" Although she might have seemed angry with their young captain, in al honesty she couldn't have been happier to see him laughing. But questions needed answering and Luffy is the only one with the answers that would tell them everything.

The smack upside his head didn't stop Luffy from smiling though as he grinned widely at his nakama. _HIS _nakama _not _the Baron's.

The thought made Luffy's grin soften as he gazed warmly at his nakama. At that moment their captain looked like a man that had lived a very long, full life. He looked like a man that had seen too much. His eyes held a forlorn wisdom that Luffy's crew had never noticed before. But soon realized was always there. Just like the scars he held upon his body; practically invisible but there nonetheless.

"Luffy…we have to talk." Zoro spoke up. Zoro had always known that their captain was smarter than he appeared even if he pretends to be a complete idiot sometimes.

"Heh…sure, why not?" Luffy replied with a grin on his face.

* * *

Of course young Chopper was going to have to inspect their captain wound before any questioning took place. After shooing everyone away (he practically had to throw Zoro out) he helped Luffy sit up, and he begun to undo the wrappings around Luffy's torso. After the bandages were completely undone Chopper began his inspection of Luffy's wounds.

The wounds on his back were the worst out of all of them though, as he had Luffy turn his back to him so that chopper may make sure none were getting infected. The holes on Luffy's back were healing nicely, but what troubled chopper was how deep the wounds were. Arrows shouldn't have been able to pierce someone like Luffy so deeply and so cleanly. Now, at least, the wounds were healing nicely but when Chopper had first inspected them he had feared that his captain would die. Some of the wound had punctured lungs and several of them were dangerously close to Luffy's spinal cord. Chopper was thankful that Luffy was such a fast healer other wise the wounds to his lungs would have killed him, and if they didn't, the ones close to his spinal cord could have easily have left him paralyzed. It was obvious that despite being so wounded, Luffy had continued to fight with the arrows still _in _him. Chopper shivered slightly as he inspected the half-healed wounds on his captains back. A normal person probably would have died, and if not, they would have been in bed for weeks. But Monkey D. Luffy was not a normal person as his wounds looked as if they would be fully healed in a few more days. There would most definitely be scars though, practically invisible scars, but there nonetheless.

After cleaning and re-wrapping Luffy's wounds Chopper looked directly into his captains eyes. Chopper opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by his captain.

Luffy patted choppers hat-free head (it was removed so that it could be washed) and ruffled his hair a bit before smiling.

"None of this is your fault Chopper. You should know that for sure. I'm gonna be okay. I'm not going to be defeated that easily ya know." With that Luffy stood up and walked out the door to join the rest of the crew.

'_Luffy…how is it that you always seem to say exactly what I need to hear?'_

Chopper followed his captain to join his crewmates knowing that wherever Luffy went

Chopper would surely follow.

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(Once again I considered stopping here and once again I continued, fearing for my life.)

'_It must be a new record.' _Zoro had mused to himself when the captain came above deck. In the span time of 3 second the tense silence dissipated in only to be replaced by an awkward one. And no one even said anything.

"Captain…we have to talk."

No one knew you said it. It could have been anyone. No one would remember who said it later either, even the person themselves. Because it was what they all were thinking so in the end it didn't matter who said it, just as long as they did.

Luffy being Luffy smiled.

But everyone knew it was forced.

"How much do you want to know?" Luffy asked his crewmates. They were in the kitchen sitting at the table, having decided to eat before talking. None of the usual antics were performed and despite everyone's efforts the food tasted like ash in their mouths. Not because the food wasn't good, but because everyone was to nervous and stiff to really taste anything.

The rest of the crew turned to Zoro. He had known the captain longest after all and he was the first mate. He would know what to say.

"You know the answer to that captain." Zoro replied.

Said captain smirked weakly while pulling his hat down over his eyes. The hat was his veil that hid his expressful eyes that, if anyone looked at them, were quite easy to read. To hide said emotions, Luffy would pull his hat down to cover them. It gave comfort to Luffy if he knew no one could see his true emotions.

Unable to delay the explanation any longer, the young captain opened his mouth to speak.

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Haha I have decided to make this longer than a two shot! There will probably be two more chapter and than an epilogue. So please don't kill me for this!

If you have any ideas please tell me! I will gladly take them into consideration and credit shall be given to you as well!

Please Review!

**And a special thanks for the following people:** **Haruhibunny****, ****art-is-a-bang-yeah****, ****ImmerKlein****, ****Starchild49****, ****Inumaru12****, ****Silverchild of the winds****, ****Sky Pad****, ****natsuumi****, ****waver-chan**


	3. Flood Gates

Hi

Hi! Hahaha I am going to be honest with you and say that I have NO clue what I'm going to do with this chapter but I'm gonna wing it and see what happens! I appreciate all of your love! This chapter was made specifically for those of you whom threatened me with bodily harm! You guys ROCK! (Even if you do scare me a bit!)

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Chapter 3

Flood Gates

**When one opens up flood gates they should expect a lot of water. One tends to expect to be able to sail through these waters without hassle.**

**However….**

The straw-hat pirates sat there after hearing their captain's recollections. Their eyes were glazed over slightly and mouths slightly agape. How much time has passed? How could their captain even stand to look at them? Why did he save us? Mentally, the straw hat pirates replayed the conversation they had had with their captain

_Unable to delay the explanation any longer, the young captain opened his mouth to speak. _

"_It all started several days ago. We received an invitation to a vacation resort and I decided that we could all use a break; we needed the time to help restock supplies anyway, so we sailed. And…we made it. When we first docked here the first thing we thought was that perhaps the resort was a lie or that maybe we missed it. Robin mentioned that on the flyer it showed that there were flowers all over but how here there were no flowers at all. None of us took notice of that though, and I didn't think that the fact that there were no flowers would be important later on. I was wrong."_

_The captain's voice sounded hollow and detached. His eyes were glazed over slightly as he spoke and they had this far-away look about them. It was as if the captain wasn't really speaking to them, but, rather, reliving the experience himself. As the captain spoke small flashes of memory were going through everyone. Hearing their captain tell them what had happened was bringing about some of their memories. However, with these memories and the sense of familiarity that came with hearing the captain tell the tale, there was also a sense of foreboding. As the tale continued, that feeling grew and the straw-hats were beginning to get the sense that maybe they really _don't _want to know what happened after all. Maybe the story was better left unsaid. But each one of the straw-hat pirates knew that they couldn't turn back now; they opened the flood gate that was truth, despite several warnings, and now they had to sail through it._

"…_-thing must have happened during the second challenge. I don't know all the details myself but there was a hell of a lot of tension. Especially between Zoro and Sanji, and Ussop and Nami, in fact Nami slapped Ussop and yelled at him for 'betraying' her and Ussop responded that betrayal was her forte." _

_Now that was a surprise! But strangely enough when said pirates looked at each other a wave of guilt and regret covered them, and they knew that what their captain said was true. The memories were becoming clearer now. And the memories of those fights were, although a bit fuzzy, definitely coming to light. They remembered the awful words they said to each other and they remembered their feelings as they fought. Suddenly, what Brief had said about the Baron loving to watch pirate crews destroy themselves made sense. He deliberately made it seem as if they were betraying one another. Those feelings of hatred and mistrust…those weren't feelings meant to be felt towards fellow Nakama. _

"…_hadn't even noticed that Robin had gone missing. First Chopper, then Ussop, and now Robin! When the baron started the third challenge…Sanji…you said something to me…and…" Luffy was struggling with his words. He obviously didn't want to hurt his chief by revealing what had been said, it's all in the past after all._

_Sanji, who's head snapped at the mention of his name, was staring at the captain intently. Had he said something? Yes…the memory was very vague and fuzzy but he remembers what he was feeling at that time with perfect clarity. He was mad out of his mind with worry for Robin and Chopper and Ussop (well…not so much Ussop). But with those feelings resentment, hatred, and disappointment were all mixed in as well. He was overflowing with emotion and he just blew up at the captain. Sanji was struck again with the urge to tell his captain to stop; that he really didn't want to know. He crossed his arms over his chest to hide is shaking hands. When had they started shaking? His gaze never wavered from his captain whom was struggling with his words._

"_Whatever it is, Captain, just say it." Sanji voiced out. He kept the nervousness out of his voice. And when Luffy's hollow gaze met his own, he was overcome with the sudden feelings of regret. They were so strong that he almost missed the captain's next words._

"_You said that…that it was my fault that Robin and the others were missing…You told me that…I wasn't…fit to be captain." Luffy struggled when saying the words._

_Sanji froze. They all knew that Luffy was still editing the best he could, and that made Sanji feel even worse. He knew, deep down in the darkest crevices of both his heart and mind, that Luffy was telling the truth. He could practically taste the words on his tongue, stinging him like acid. Sanji's posture was stiff and he was looking down at the floor. The memories were beginning to return to him, and what he saw was not something Sanji was proud of. Feelings of shame were flooding over Sanji as he picked his gaze up off the floor and stared at his captain. Luffy's gaze was aimed at the cook. The look in his eyes was something keen to nervousness and shame. Sanji nodded his head toward hi captain to allow Luffy to realize that he was fine, and too continue._

"_Anyway, Sanji and Zoro both ran off on their own, but the Baron shoed that his next 'Ordeal of Hell' was a shooting game or something. Nami ran off too after a bunch of idiots with guns ran after her, and I told the Baron to give back everyone he took. He then fired some sort of weird arrow thing. But it wasn't a normal arrow. I kept following me everywhere. Eventually I made too a dead end and the arrow nearly hit me. After that I got knocked out and Brief took me into his home again."_

_Zoro was feeling disgusted with himself. Zoro, Luffy's first mate, best friend, second in command, and nakama, had abandoned Luffy. Zoro, who was now standing off to the side, leaned against the wall with his arms across his chest and his hands in fists. He clenched his hands so tightly that his knuckles turned white and the nails dug deeply into his flesh, drawing a bit of blood. The pain was barely registered but it was enough to force his attention back to his captain. Pushing down his feelings of disgust, Zoro returned his gaze back to his captain; he hadn't realized that he had moved his gaze at all._

"_After hanging around Brief for a while longer I found the entrance behind the book case. I ran into battle without thinking. Eventually I caught up with him. The stupid Baron called chopper a river otter with horns. I told him that Chopper was a reindeer."_

_At that Luffy chuckled weakly along with the crew. Chopper looked offended that anyone could mistake him for a river otter as he mumbled under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'fucking asshole I'm a reindeer not an otter bastard!'_

_Luffy's chuckle quickly faded though as he began to recount what happened after words._

"_He...the Baron that is…told me that…that…that one of you had just died."_

_Instantly all remaining chuckles faded as the crew stared wide-eyed at their captain, who now had his head ducked and his hat covering his eyes._

"_The stupid flower on the bastards shoulder looked like it was chewing on something but I was too angry too take notice at the time. I…I tried to punch him but he pinned my arm to the rock with an arrow. Robin…next was Robin…she"_

_Robin's head snapped up toward her captain._

"_I watched Robin disappear."_

_The words were so filled with despair that several crewmembers shivered at the tone that they had never before heard come from their captain._

"_Sanji was next…and…and I tried to punch with my other arm b-but he pinned that one to the rock too."_

_In their minds, the straw-hat crew began to beg their captain to stop. This was much to painful for any of them to handle, especially the captain. He was shivering slightly and his breathing was coming a little more quickly, it was obvious that recounting the experience was painful._

"_I…I-I begged him to stop. I yelled and screamed and I tried to kick him but he pinned my leg to the rock too. He…He said that Usopp had just disappeared too…Then…Then it was Nami"_

_His voice was beginning to shudder painfully, and the shaking was more pronounced now. Several crew members looked away from their captain and others closed their eyes. Only Zoro kept his gaze of the captain. Luffy wasn't the only one shaking now though, Chopper was crying silently and Nami looked like she would at any moment. Sanji's eyes couldn't be seen but he was obviously shaking. They were all shaking as they tried to imagine the desperate look on Luffy's face as he tried and failed to save them, as he watch them all die._

"_I tried…I tried to kick with my other leg but…but He pinned that to the rock too. I was stuck. I couldn't move anymore. The baron said…The Baron said that…that 'the last of your nakama is fading away.' I kept struggling but I couldn't move my arms or my legs, so I stretched my neck instead."_

_The crew stiffened slightly at that. His neck? That was one of Luffy's weak points though! They were staring at their captain now with wide eyes._

"_The baron shot his arrows at me again. He might of gotten me…I don't really remember but…but I couldn't…I didn't make it. I watched…just a few feet away from me…I was almost there…Zoro…Zoro he…Zoro was the…he was the last one. I…I watched Zoro fade away."_

_The last came out as a pained whisper. Nami took a half step forward with her arm raised, as if to comfort Luffy, but Sanji gently stopped her shaking his head. Luffy wouldn't accept comfort right now. Zoro was no longer looking at his captain, instead he was tracing patterns in the floorboards that weren't really there, as he silently contemplated what was being told. He was tense and his nails were digging into his flesh again, but this time the pain did nothing to help Zoro at all._

"_The Baron…the baron asked me…he asked me…if…if I wanted…He asked if I wanted to die."_

_That one sentence. Just one sentence was enough to bring everyone out of their own thoughts. They were all staring at the captain wide-eyed. Silently hoping for a different answer then what they knew they would receive. _

"_He asked me…If I wanted to...to die or…or to live the rest of my life…alone. The Baron drew his arrow and aimed…I…I was lost…I wanted to die…I didn't want to be…alone. Being alone…was much more painful…then dieing I had thought. Before the Baron could kill me though, Brief pulled me under ground again."_

_Everyone stopped breathing. They couldn't even imagine Luffy wanting to die. Then the anger came. An irrational anger overcame the straw-hat pirates as they gazed at their captain. Out of all of them though, Zoro was the one to act on his anger._

"_WHAT THE HELL!?" Zoro yelled suddenly, pulling their captain out of his chair by the front of his shirt. "WHY WOULD YOU!! HOW COULD YOU!! AAGHH! Dam it! Don't ever say that! NEVER! So you hear me Luffy!? There is NO reason for you to EVER feel that way! So don't…don't say stuff like that Luffy! Please…Please don't ever…"_

_Zoro's whole body was shaking. He was gazing into Luffy's eyes. At first they were surprised before understanding replaced them. Luffy always seemed to understand everything when it came to his nakama. Zoro was scared that Luffy had thought those things and ashamed because he couldn't prevent it. As Luffy stared into his first mate's eyes, he saw the shiny film of tears unshed glaring back at him. _

_Luffy gently grasped Zoro's hands and stared directly at his nakama. Slowly, Zoro put Luffy back down, but didn't release his hold on his captain's shirt. Luffy opened his mouth and spoke what had to be said to make his nakama understand. They HAD to understand. Luffy didn't know what he would do if they didn't._

"_Zoro…With out my Nakama…Without all of you, I am nothing. My dreams, my ambitions…none of that matters. Not if I can't share it with all of you guys. You are my nakama…my family."_

_Zoro's hands released Luffy's shirt. His entire body was shaking in the effort to keep himself under control. With out warning Zoro suddenly punched the wall closest too him, leaving a hole. Breathing raggedly Zoro looked back at his captain who was staring right back at him. Remaining eye contact with Zoro, Luffy addressed the whole crew. _

"_I beat the Baron. I got you all back. I won. And that's all that matters."_

After that was said, Luffy left to go sit on the Going Mary's head. The others stayed behind in the galley thinking. They were thinking about what their captain had told them. They knew what he said was true because their own memories were returning to them, and even if they weren't they would have believed him anyway. The entire crew was feeling immensely guilty as more memories became clear to them.

Sanji was regretting. He was beginning to remember what he had said to Zoro and Luffy. He might be the marimo-head's rival but they were still Nakama before everything else. And Luffy…He said those awful things to him. And Luffy still saved his sorry ass. It's extremely faint, but there was a memory calling out to him. It was one of Luffy calling out to him in desperation and fear. Was this the memory of them disappearing? Sanji thought it might be. Shakily taking out a cigarette, Sanji put it in his mouth before lighting it. He was surprised when he started coughing harshly. That was when Sanji realized he hadn't had a smoke in four days.

Robin was reflecting. She was the newest to the crew, and not much was known about her. Yet despite having no real proof that she could be trusted, Luffy risked his life to save hers just as much as the others. Distantly in the back of her mind, a memory was nagging at her. It was the memory of their captain's arms being pinned down as he desperately fought to free them. Robin bowed her head as she reflected on the man who had changed her so much.

Nami was hoping. She was hoping that Ussop would forgive her for automatically assuming he had betrayed her. She was hoping her captain would be alright. And above all, she hoped that their friendship would be able to overcome the trials to come. And as she was hoping she began to wonder if hope would be enough.

Ussop was planning. He was planning to apologize to Nami. He shouldn't have said what he did to her. He was supposed to be able to keep his head when it came to his Nakama. But this was Nami! And as much as he hated to admit it, it hurt worst coming from her. The woman he saw as a sisterly figure. He couldn't help but retort the way he did. But that wasn't an excuse, and Usopp knew it, he just didn't have much faith in his plans anymore.

Chopper was worrying. He was worried for their captain, who had never before showed emotions in such a way. He was worried for his Nakama, who haven't spoken a word since the initial talk. He was worried for them all. But he couldn't help it. After all, they were his Nakama. But Chopper knew that everyone needed their silent moments as well as the loud ones. So chopper held back his worry as he gazed blankly at the door their captain had exited not long before. He knew that their were some wounds that even the greatest doctor in the world would never be able to cure.

Zoro was remembering. He was remembering the tears flying off his captain's face as his head was forced back to his body. He was remembering how his captain cursed at the Baron to give them all back. He was remembering his captain, trudging toward him with dozens of arrows sticking out of his back. Obviously in a lot of pain and on the brink of death as he fought tooth and nail to get them back. He was remembering all of this. But above all, he was remembering the look on his captain's face as he explained to them what he was without his Nakama. The word had been _'nothing' _his captain, to whom Zoro has found his best friend, was _'nothing' _without them. The thought made Zoro shudder as he mentally vowed to make sure that his captain would never have to feel that way again.

**However…**

Each straw-hat pirate now knew things about their captain that they never knew before. Some of these things were answers to questions they had long since been wondering. Others, however, showed them a part of their captain they wish they never had to see, and would do anything to make sure he never had a reason to feel that way again. They would protect their Nakama and their captain with everything they had. But first they had to protect each other from themselves. Wounds must be healed before anything else is done.

**If you underestimate the flood even for a moment you could very well drown. **

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Whew! that was a lot of work! I decided to go woth a slightly different format for this one in case you didn't notice! haha. This is definately a fic I am enjoying immesly!

**Special thanx for: **Swami42, NeoGene, twilley, Loreto W, Silverchild of the winds, Starchild49, wanna-go-to-a-place, ImmerKlein, natsuumi, Inumaru12, waver-chan

Reminder! Reviews are greatly appreciated. And Ideas are all read and taken into consideration(Credit is indeed given)!

OH! Those who can figure out the connection between the bold print in the story and it's rekation to this chapter will be given special cookies! (and by cookies I mean previews!) I don't think it's that hard but hey! that's just me! Please PM me with your answer so that others can figure it out themslef! I don;t mean that it's the name of this chapter either just so ya know!

Thankyou for reading this chapter everyone!


	4. Apologies

Once again I am winging it! I have no clue as too what I am planning here so please put up with me! Also seeing as I don't have a beta nor do I know how to get one nor do I really know what a beta is in the first place please forgive me for any mistakes that you see. Please enjoy!

**Special note for Inumaru12**: I have now updated! And according to your proposal in your review reply you are to update as well seeing as I have held up my end of said bargain! And Remember – I know all! I hope you enjoy!

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Chapter 4

Apologies

**A·pol·o·gies** (ə-pŏl'ə-jē)  
n. _Pl._ **a·pol·o·gies**

An acknowledgment expressing regret or asking pardon for a fault or offense.

A formal justification or defense.

An explanation or excuse

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**/I don't want you to apologize. And do you know why?/**

Sanji was cooking in the kitchen. Although lost in his own thoughts, Sanji's hands seemed to understand that they were meant to prepare food, and were preparing a meal for the crew (was that salt or sugar that he just put on Luffy's meat?) Normally, Sanji would berate any shitty-cook who acted in such a manner. Later on, Sanji would mentally kick himself when he thought about how he acted like a shitty-cook but would stubbornly refuse to admit to anything, while sneakily putting extra meat on Luffy's plate to amend for his folly (yep. Definitely sugar.) But for now, Sanji was too deep in thought to care for his surroundings. How was he going to apologize? His cuts were uneven and all the vegetables he had been cutting were of different thicknesses instead of their usual uniformed sizes and shape. Eventually, Sanji got fed up with his still shaking hands and put his knife down (a chief never mistreats his knives, no exceptions). He slouched over the counter and plopped his elbows up, with his head in his hands. His blond hair covered his face like a veil as he pondered over what he planned to say to his captain.

So entranced in his own thoughts, Sanji didn't even notice said captain approaching him. Luffy didn't make a move to approach the cook. He just stood behind him waiting for Sanji to acknowledge him. Luffy knew that Sanji had something to say to him, just as Luffy had something to say to Sanji. Mugiwara no Luffy, not being the most patient person in the world, was only able to wait five minutes before he gave up and cleared his throat noisily in order to gain the cooks attention.

Whirling around quickly, Sanji flew into attack mode. His leg was mere centimeters away from Luffy's face before stopping upon seeing who it was he was about to kick. Luffy hadn't even blinked at the chief's move to attack him. A moment passed by before Sanji lowered his leg and took in his captain's pose. He was wearing a fresh red vest and his faded blue denim shorts. His legs were spread apart, braced for a battle almost. His arms were crossed stubbornly across his chest and his beaten straw hat sat daintily upon his head. A bandaged could be seen on Luffy's neck. And more bandages were wrapped around Luffy's arms, legs and hands. Despite being obviously injured, the look in his eye plainly stated that he was not leaving without answers.

The two of them gazed silently, glaring almost. The tense silence surrounded them as tension filled the air. Sparks electrified the small galley as captain and cook, nakama and nakama, stared each other down. Luffy, not one for long periods of silence either, was the one who made the first move.

"Sanji…what's wrong with you? You're out of it and you've been spacing out a lot. Tell me what's going on now. Captain's Orders."

Luffy, although he could be a genius at times could be very dense at other times. He didn't seem to realize what had been bothering his chief so much to cause him to act in such a manner. He stood there though, braced for what ever response he might get. Not expecting the answer he was going to receive at all.

"I wanted to apologize captain." Sanji stated. For his credit, Sanji stared directly into his captain's coal-black eyes as he said this. He watched the surprise and bewilderment draw itself on Luffy's face as he cocked his head unconsciously to the side.

"Why would you need to apologize to me Sanji?" Luffy responded, completely confused as to why his nakama would ever need to apologize to him for.

"I…I remember everything I said to you Luffy. Every word that I said to you…I…I was out of place and I was angry. Please accept my apology."

"No." was Luffy's reply. He had this impassive look on his face and his eyes held no emotion as he stared directly at Sanji. His body was tense and his muscles were taught. He was upset about something.

"N-nani!? Why not!?" Sanji stuttered out in reply. Luffy was never one to hold a grudge against nakama. He never held something above your head for too long. Was Luffy really so affected by what he said as to not being able to forgive him?

"Because," was Luffy's simple answer. He held his unwavering gaze steady on Sanji.

Sanji's mind was going a million miles a minute. He was trying to comprehend what was being said to him. In his mind Sanji was panicking, on the out side, the only visible sign that he was affected by what Luffy said was the slight shift in posture and the turning of hands into fists. Sensing Sanji's distress Luffy elaborated.

"Sanji, I don't blame you or anyone else for what happened on that island. I don't care if you're sorry about what happened. The past is the past. No use in apologizing over something that wasn't your fault."

"But it was my fault," Sanji replied swiftly.

"If what happened is your fault then everyone nearly dieing is my fault as well," Luffy stated without hesitation. He was completely sure of himself. The commitment that Luffy held within his eyes was so strong that it caused Sanji to look away.

"I don't understand," Sanji admitted mostly to himself, but Luffy responded anyway.

"You were angry, upset and scared. You weren't thinking strait. You didn't mean a word of it. It was wrong of you to say such things. Pick your excuse I don't care. We both know that the fact of the matter is, is that you meant what you said at the time, but you don't now. That's all that matters to me. So I refuse to accept an apology when an apology isn't needed."

With that Luffy left the galley and Sanji to his thoughts. With some renewed peace of mind Sanji returned to his work, only to be horrified at what he had done in his stupor. ("Why the hell is there sugar on this meat!?")

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Diner that evening was…interesting, to say the least. Sanji, not being one to waste food, did what he could to salvage the meal. He evened out the vegetables as best as he could, he made a slightly sour sauce to balance out the outrageously sweet meat, he made plain white rice as a blancher, he even attempted to make the theme of the entire meal a sour-sweet mix. Something he hadn't done before. The food wasn't bad, it was just interestingly different. So different was the meal, even Luffy slowed down in his usual eating habits. They tasted each dish experimentally for the first few minutes. Nothing was said as they tried each new dish cautiously. After everything was deemed edible and delicious, the usual roughhousing noises erupted again.

After the meal Sanji was left to clean up the dishes. Intent on not losing himself in thoughts again, Sanji diligently scrubbed each dish until he could see himself in it. After the dishes were complete, Sanji went above deck for some fresh evening air. The sun was out of the sky now but the colors from what must have been a glorious sun set still painted the sky in their beautiful hues of gold, orange, pink and purple. The ocean sparkled and the breeze blew softly. Without the sun to guide them, they would need to drop anchor soon; it was too dangerous to attempt to sail through the night with no light to guide you. This is why pirates rise and fall with the sun, especially in a place as dangerous as the Grand Line. The sails were already furled up and a splash to his left told Sanji that the anchor had just been dropped. Zoro passed Sanji without a word as he went below deck to turn in for the night, but not before throwing the cook a curious glance. In response to the glance the cook merely inclined his head to show that he would be heading down soon as well. Although the bitterest of rivals they understood each other well enough.

Sanji wasn't sure of how much time had past as he watched to moon rise steadily. In its waxing gibbous stage, the moon provided enough light to illuminate the ship in its eerie glow. Stars lit up the sky and a sudden cold breeze went by. Shuddering out of his deep thoughts, Sanji turned to head inside only to see Robin in his path. Having not heard her approach, Sanji had to stop fast, nearly losing his balance. Smiling slightly Robin used her powers to help Sanji regain his balance as he mumbled a polite 'thank you mellorine' towards her.

"What is wrong Cook-san?" Robin asked plainly. The cook had been acting odd all day and it was beginning to concern Robin. Being direct, she supposed, would give her the answers she wanted faster then attempting to be discreet.

"Nothing is wrong! Have I worried you my sweet mellorine? I apologize for no one as beautiful as your self should have to worry about me!" Sanji immediately exclaimed. There was no reason for him to worry anyone was Sanji's general line of thought. The look of patience on Robin's face, with the slight undertones of annoyance, clearly told Sanji that she wasn't fooled. Sighing slightly he gave in and told her. "How could he forgive me? After all I said to him, why would he save my sorry self? No…he wouldn't even let me apologize. I don't understand at all."

Robin didn't need to be told who 'him' was. It was clearly their captain. Not wanting to reveal that she had listened in on the whole thing with the help of her powers, Robin smiled at the cook with her famous I-know-what-your-talking-about-but-for-you-sake-I'll-pretend-I-don't-so-spill smile.

Falling for said smile the cook elaborated, "Luffy."

Nodding her head in fake understanding, Robin looked toward the sky with a different smile on her face. It was a new smile that had yet to gain a name. It was a smile she hadn't smiled in the longest time before meeting the straw-hat pirates. It was a smile full of affection and peace that filled her face whenever she thought of the boy who had saved her when she had given up on ever finding the 'true history' after the incident with Alabasta and Crocodile. Sanji was looking at the sky as well, the moon now high in the sky glowed brightly, giving off a beacon of hope on the darkest of nights. When it disappears, the darkness of the sky seemed to intensify and it felt like the sky was missing something very important. The moon, in a way, represented Luffy perfectly. He filled up the sky with his hopes and beliefs and never stopped believing in his nakama even when they stopped believing in themselves. Once a person saw their dark, night-filled world illuminate with the essence of the moon, they could never go back. Whenever it disappeared feeling of unease would arise and self doubt began to reappear, but the moon was never gone for long, just like Luffy. Luffy was like the moon in these ways.

However, Luffy was loud and bright like the sun. He was spontaneous and never dull. So full of energy and life and fun. He could brighten up a person's entire world and fill them with warmth that they so desperately needed. Giving out kindness and trust with no strings attached. In these ways he was like the sun.

And when ever the two sides of Luffy met, the sun and the moon, a wondrous sight occurred that people hardly ever got to see, but it is a sight that once seen, could never be forgotten. It is an indescribable occurrence that seldom occurs. If directed at an enemy it meant certain defeat. But if directed towards a friend it meant certain salvation.

Robin chuckled lightly thinking over what she should say that would comfort the cook. She opened her mouth to say something intelligent and complicated. She intended to tell him of the workings of their captain's mind and how he saw things. She indented to say many things, but what she said was what neither expected to hear.

"That's just the way Captain-san is."

She was surprised to hear herself say that. Had she not planned to explain things thoroughly and efficiently? Not missing a single detail of what she knew of their captain? The reason behind why she said what she did hit her suddenly. It was the truth. No one truly knew how the captain's mind worked, except maybe Zoro. Robin, who was famous for her keen eye of observation, knew very little of how her captain's mind worked. She who could tell you whether a person was good or bad, lying or speaking the truth, just by glancing at them, could not read past the smiling exterior of their raven-haired rubber captain. More surprising was that she was content not knowing. It didn't matter how Luffy's mind worked. For if his mind worked in a way that allowed her to be apart of his crew then she was content not knowing how. Just as long as it did.

Sanji, on the other hand, smiled around his cigarette. He understood perfectly what Robin had said. He gazed at the stars and whispered, "Yeah…" He now had some peace of mind. He understood better now. Turning around, Sanji headed back toward the men's quarters. It was late and he was tired. Robin climbed up onto the crow's-nest to complete her night of watch duty. Both parties smiled contently as the night wore on. A silent understanding had passed between them.

**/I don't want you to apologize. And do you know why?/**

**/It's because…/**

_**The next day**_

Explosions could be heard across the Merry Go as Usopp half-heartedly worked on improving his inventions. Half-heartedly for two reason: One he was still feeling guilty over what had been said to Nami, and two he was still half-asleep. (Technically that made it 1 ½ reasons) After having three of his experiments blow up in his face, Usopp knew that he couldn't avoid apologizing to Nami forever, so he might as well apologize now.

He searched all over the ship. The galley, the deck, the galley, the bathroom, the galley, he even checked the men's quarters before he decided it was time to be serious about finding her and heading to the women's quarters (He tried to check the galley again, but for some reason Sanji wouldn't let him in…). He hesitated by the door. What in the world could he possibly say to her? His knees were shaking and his palms were beginning to sweat. Would she even forgive him? Gulping audibly Usopp raised his hand to knock, hesitated for only a moment, and knocked three times on the door.

Upon, hearing Nami's voice call him in, opened the door and entered the women's quarters. A quick glance around told him that Robin was absent from the vicinity. Nami was working diligently on a map of the island they just left. An island is an island after all.

"What is it Usopp?" Nami asked, taking a break from her map making to converse with the sniper.

"A-ano I…I-I wanted to tell you…to tell you how…how I beat the mysterious giant squid! Yes that's it! It was a dark night near an island not to far from here; a beautiful young maiden's father had been taken by the giant squid. And I, the Great Captain Usopp decided that-"

"STOP LYING!" Nami yelled with her scary face on. "If you're not going to do anything but tell stories then tell them to Chopper! I busy you know?"

"Y-yeah I know. That wasn't what I came here for. Actually…I came here to…I came here to…apologize. For what I said to you back on the island. I…I really am sorry." Usopp amended. He was looking down at his feet. He didn't understand why he was so interested in the wooden floors. But there were interesting patterns if you looked at it in the right way. There's a bunny. Over there's a goose. That one there looked sorta like Sanji's head. And there'-

"No…I should be the one apologizing. I'm the one who slapped you after all….twice." Nami giggled lightly at that. Usopp's head snapped up and his gaze finally met hers for the first time since entering. Silent communication passed between them and they both understood. It was okay. There was no need to worry senselessly about unnecessary apologies. The both smiled at one another. Everything was going to be okay. If it hadn't been clear before than it certainly was at that point. Eventually, everything is going to be okay.

The mood of the ship has increased steadily these past few days. After Chopper un-bandaged Luffy, he immediately bounded out onto the deck. Stretching all about the ship and playing games with Chopper and Usopp. The straw-hat pirates quickly fell back into their normal routine. Nami was calling out orders when the ship strayed from its course and spent time writing her maps or sunbathing. Robin continued playing with Luffy, Chopper and Usopp with her Hana-Hana powers, Zoro continued his outrageous training followed by his extensive napping, Sanji still smoked up a storm and kicked out Luffy and the others when they tried to sneak in and steal food, Usopp still told stories, and Chopper still believed them.

To a naive outsider, it would seem as if nothing had changed at all. That what had happened on that island was past them and that- they never thought about it anymore. To a naive outsider it would appear that nothing had changed at all and that the straw-hats were completely affected by it. These outsiders would believe the straw-hats to be strong, being able to come out of an ordeal like that unaffected.

But to an outsider of keener sight, they would notice the subtle distances in the crew. They would notice how Zoro seemed to sleep closer to where his captain was. How he wouldn't sleep as deeply to keep himself alert for danger. How he trained twice as hard in the same amount of time and how he would gaze at his captain with a look of regret every now and then when he had to leave his side.

They would notice how Usopp stories stayed away from certain topics. They would notice how he would start a story in one direction before suddenly heading for another as if thinking twice about what he was saying. He seemed to think more about what he said and he made sure to explain certain aspects carefully to those who listened to him. He seemed to stress more about the importance of nakama and teamwork instead of how great he was. Granted they still stressed that but not to as great of an extent.

They would notice how Robin took more time to spend with everyone. Almost as if she feared losing them. She watched everything carefully as she mentally noted and stored away each moment she spent with the crew. She smiled more and she laughed more, even if it still wasn't often. She made more of an effort to be a part of things. She didn't want to regret anything.

They would notice Chopper experimenting more with new antidotes and cures. Experiments Chopper previously thought to dangerous to attempt were done. Almost as if he believed that if a risky experiment could save a life then the risk was worth it. He listened to Usopp's stories still, and he still believed them, but now picked out more details. Trying to understand what might happen or how. Trying to prevent something bad from happening again.

They would notice Nami reading the paper more thoroughly. It seemed as if she was trying to find the truths hidden with in the paper in stead of believing everything she read. it seemed she wanted to know what were the lies what was the truth and what was just not added in. She didn't want what happened to repeat just because she couldn't read the hidden meaning with in something. She would also read more of robin's history books when it came to the islands they were heading too. She was trying to learn everything she could about a potential enemy, she wanted to forewarn every one of any dangers the may lay ahead.

But most of all, they would notice Luffy's changes or rather the apparent lack there of. Even a person with keen eyes would not notice the changes in Luffy. His smile never seemed to falter. His appetite was still huge. He still pestered everyone to play with him. He still sat on Merry's head. Nothing seemed to have changed. So to an outsider with a keener eye would believe that the straw-hats were stronger than strong. They were invincible it seemed.

But anyone of the crew could see the slight differences in Luffy.

They could see that his smile now held more protectiveness to it as well as love. They could see that Luffy would always thank Sanji for the meal before wolfing it down, but they could see him savor every bite of it. They could see that though he still pestered them, the message behind it was now more relieved, as if he was relieved that they were here to pester at all. And when Luffy sat on Merry's head, the look in his eye was more determined then ever before. It was cool and calculated and determined and protective. They new he was thinking of ways to make himself stronger. He was thinking of new fighting styles and moves and what to do in different scenarios. He was serious at these times.

And though everyone on the crew noticed these changes with in their captain, they chose to pretend that they didn't notice at all. For their sake as much as Luffy's

**/It's because the only way to move forward is to leave the past behind you. It's not like you or I can change it./**

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WOW! Hahaha that was a LOT of work! Wow. I've spent the past three sleepless nights working on this. I went over it and fixed any mistakes I could find. I constantly kept changing the way I wanted to end this. I typed this over and over until my butt became numb. An in the end, I am still not very satisfied with the ending. But hey, it's better than my first three endings!

Here are the people who answered my challenge: NeoGene, waver-chan (_thanks for the glomp!)_, natsuumi, Loreto W, wanna-go-to-a-place

My reviewers: NeoGene, twilley, Inumaru12, Starchild49, waver-chan, Silverchild of the winds, Loreto W, wanna-go-to-a-place, b-potter-e, Lotus-chan, Tony WildRiver

There's no challenge this time because I feel that this time it is very obvious the meaning behind the words. I accept all forms of criticism and any advice or ideas you may have are welcomed graciously.

**IMPORTANT NOTE:** Did that get your attention? Good. Because this is important to any of you who enjoy this story and are looking for the next update. The rest of you can just leave since this won't concern you. Yeah that's it. Leave with your tail between your legs. Haha, look at that one bow his head in shame!

Yes well anyway, my next update will take me a while to do so since I've hit a wall. It's not that I don't know what to do for this story, it's that there's so _much _I want to do. It's going to take me a while to see what makes the cut and what doesn't so please be patient with me!

Here are some translations:

_Nakama_- Nakama is the same as friend but it's deeper than that. To be called nakama is the same as being called very close family or saying 'I love you' in a non-romantic way.

_Mellorine_- I'm not sure of the exact definition but Sanji say is all the time in the Japanese version. A rough translation would be 'Beauty' or maybe 'lady' anyone who know the exact definition please tell me.

_Galley_- Ship term. It's the kitchen on a ship.

_Merry-go_- the name of the ship the straw-hats use. In the English version it's the Going Merry

_Hana-Hana Fruit_- If I'm right it's the name of Robin's Devil Fruit powers. Basically hand hand fruit i think. If I'm wrong please tell me!

_Mugiwara no Luffy_- Straw-hat Luffy

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Thank you for reading my story! I hope I don't disappoint you with the finale/epilogue!


	5. Epilogue: Silent Understanding

Those of you who know me by now know that I am just winging this story as I write it as I go. No planning or anything. Not even a stroke of inspiration. All I have is raw determination to finish this story! I have this awful track record of not finishing stories because I lose interest in them but I am determined not to allow this to happen to this story! So this one is dedicated to everyone who had read and enjoyed this story; Nakama-ship forever!

Also, some of you pointed out to me that the last chapter was mostly Sanji-centric. After looking back on the last chapter again I realized that I did indeed center on Sanji. So I just wanted to let you know that I am aware of this and I apologize if the last chapter irked you a bit. I will do my best to make sure that I do not focus too much on one character in this chapter!

**Poll Results:** IT'S A BLOODY TIE DAM IT! So i shall go and right this up as nakamaship with ZoLu undertones. If your upset with the results and didn't vote than you should have voted! so nya :P

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Chapter 5

(Final Chapter)

Epilogue: Silent Understanding

\ **There're are many different ways to help someone understand you** \

Zoro stood by the railing of the ship, gazing at the sea with no real expression on his face. He was thinking about something important, that much anyone could tell. No one could tell exactly what he was thinking, and no one ever could. The only exception to this was Luffy, but at the moment he was playing another round of hide-and-seek with Chopper and Usopp. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Zoro could see Luffy squeezing himself tightly between two barrels. It was so tight a fit, that the only other person who would be able to fit into it would be chopper. Thoroughly squeezed in as tightly as could be, Luffy caught Zoro's eye and grinned his widest grin he could muster in the confined space. A silent message was passed between them. Smirking lightly, Zoro nodded discreetly.

'_Don't tell anyone kay'?'_

Loud cursing steadily made itself known, as a familiar voice and the smell of cigarettes filled the air. Raising his eyebrow slightly Zoro looked over at Luffy, wondering why Sanji would be looking for him. The answer made itself apparent quickly. This was not a game of hide-and-seek; this was a game of hide-from-Sanji-as-he-seeks-you-for-stealing-meat. Of course, just because the game was changed slightly that didn't mean that the Usopp and Chopper weren't playing as well. The cursing grew steadily louder as Sanji came above deck. Returning his gaze to the ocean, Zoro proceeded in pretending that he hadn't noticed Luffy hiding between the barrels. Zoro heard Sanji stomp around the deck looking everywhere he could think of, except the barrels. Grumbling under his breath the Cook turned his attention to the Swordsman staring out at the ocean.

"Oi! Shitty-swordsman! Have you seen the Crap-captain up here?" Sanji called rudely to the Green hair bushido.

"Cheh! Why the hell would I know if the gaki were up here, you ero-chief!" It was more of a statement than a question but it was enough to begin something with Sanji. Sensing the cook's attack Zoro quickly turned around and caught the chief's foot. Throwing it down the two males began to pummel each other while screaming insults into the other's face. The fight only lasted several minutes though, ending when hearing the slight

'Squeak' that Usopp slipped out. With Sanji's previous reason for fighting the green-haired swordsman coming back to him, Sanji turned to glare at the other thief-of-meat who was now fleeing back inside. Moving to go after him Sanji stopped suddenly when his back was turned to Zoro. No words were passed but both understood. The cook then proceeded in chasing after Usopp, but not before a slight nod to signify that he had received the silent message.

Glancing back to his captain's hiding spot; Zoro grinned at him and made a motion towards him to let Luffy know that it was safe to come out. Luffy squeezed his way back out immediately after being assured that it was safe to do so. After wiggling his way out, Luffy picked himself up and walked to where Zoro was now standing, having returned to the banister. Luffy leaned his back against the banister and put his arms behind him so that they could rest as well. Zoro was still hunched forward facing the sea with his arms draped leisurely over the banister as well. After several moments of silence Zoro unknowingly opened his mouth to speak.

"Just a question captain, if you had to choose between your dreams, your hat and us which would you chose?" The question had left Zoro mouth before he even knew he opened his mouth. Although not meaning to ask the question, Zoro was not one to back down, so after he heard himself say those words he turned his gaze to his captain whom was grinning at the noonday sky.

Without missing a beat Luffy answered, "What's stopping me from having all three?" He turned his grin towards his first-mate. Said first-mate returned his captain's mischievous smile. Yes…that's just the type of answer that Zoro had half expected from his captain.

The two pirates returned their gaze too the horizon. A few moments of silence passed between them as they gazed at the seemingly endless sea. Something was different now. In those few moments of silence, something had changed between Zoro and Luffy. Both of them could feel it but neither could identify it.

Sanji's call for lunch broke the two friends out of their thoughts. With a loud cry of "MEAT," Luffy ran into the galley with Zoro strolling leisurely behind him, taking his time. The smell of the galley made their stomachs rumble slightly as both picked up the pace to make it in time, laughing as they go.

Yes, something had most definitely changed between the two of them.

\**Some are loud but subtle.\**

The daily eating ritual of the crew went on as usual as the crew laughed and talked and protected their food from Luffy's wandering hands. Each crewmember at some point had practically sung their praises for the food. Except Zoro, who's only comment had been a slightly reluctant "it's edible". Luffy, Chopper and Usopp had eventually begun to dance on the table while singing different pirate songs slightly off key. Zoro, Sanji and Nami were all laughing at the seen, clapping their hands joyfully. Robin stared at them with a smile on her face and she giggled silently to herself at the scene. It was just another blissful, carefree day on the Going Merry as the straw-hat pirates simply enjoyed the day to its fullest.

That night when everyone was sleeping, memories of the island came back to all of them in a flash. Suddenly, their minds were full of information and knowledge of what had happened. Things the captain had left out, things that he didn't know about, and the battle. _Especially_ the battle. They could see their captain fighting for their lives, calling out to them. They could see the barrage of a million arrows raining down upon their captain, who was frozen with an expression of shock and fear and anger written across his face. They saw as their captain trudged forward with the world against him and blood pouring out of his wounds to save them, to _rescue_ them, as they cried his name as loudly as they could in their deformed monstrous shape. They saw a frightened father shoot an arrow at the flower beast which held them. Closer. Closer. Closer. And than…it's a beautiful day out today. But when did we get here? Why is the captain just lying over there? Why do I feel as if I am forgetting something?

Each straw-hat member awoke with a start, all at the same time. They were gasping for air at rapid paces and cold sweat sliding down their faces. Nami and Robin both stood up shakily and walked across the hall to the men's quarters. Opening the door the two female pirates walked into the room where the men, excluding the captain, where up and composing themselves. No one said a word. But all of them were thinking the same thing. They just stared at their captain for what felt like hours. Shocked still as the memories replayed themselves over and over again in their minds each member of the crew simply reflected on the man they chose to follow. And how, for the first time, they felt as if they truly understood him, even if just a little. It might sound sick and twisted, but this horrible experience that was now shared between all of them, was no longer a burden that the captain had to carry alone. And no matter how wrong it was, no matter how much pain it might have caused all of them, they realized that none of them regretted a single thing that happened on that island. Not anymore. Not when they now understood completely what had happened.

They understood everyone else's weaknesses better now. What frightened them and what irked them. They understood they jealousy and the rage. But they also learned not to trust what they always saw and that life is simply unpredictable. They were all pushed to the point where their trust in one another broke, and now they understood now more than ever, that they were nakama.

Friends.

Comrades.

Family.

They needed each other to survive. And that was Luffy's doing. He brought people together who believed that they would never be able to work together, to be friends. People who were used to being alone and used to protecting themselves, people who everyone else believed couldn't be trusted for some reason or another. He brought these people together, and together they changed from separate individuals who couldn't be trusted into a family that found their trust in one another. That was Luffy's power. And it had made them all stronger.

"We should head back to bed. He'll be worried is we're out of it tomorrow."

And with that each member of the straw-hat crew headed back to bed, the bond between them stronger than ever. And when morning comes the next day not a word will be spoken about the night prior. It didn't need to be mentioned as long as no one forgot.

\**Others are quiet but obvious\**

some time later

Much time has past since the nakama of straw-hat Luffy fully regained their memories of what happened during the days they spent on the Baron's island. It almost seems as if nothing has changed at all for them. Almost as if they blocked the entire incident from their hearts and minds. But they never forgot. In all honesty, it was something that still nagged at them from the back of their minds. It was those memories that they referred too before doing anything or saying anything drastic. The entire crew had been changed by the incident though, even if it wasn't entirely obvious. They watched out for one another more and they thought more about what they were saying and doing. They took nothing for granted anymore and they savored every moment they had.

But most of all, they no longer saw Luffy as invincible as they did before. They no longer believed that he was just some naïve idiot with a big head. He had his own emotions and his own scars, both physical and emotional; he just chose to ignore them as best as he could. They never asked his a single question about the strange scar they had first seen after the battle, the one that should have killed him and that none of them knew the story about. It was their captain's business and they respected that. But their curiosity about their captain just grew more, for out of all of them, their captain's past was the most mysterious along with Robin's. But they also knew he didn't _not_ think about his past either.

When he thought back on that night he would shudder painfully, and a distant look would come to his eyes. But his Nakama would always seem to know what he was thinking and would distract him from it. The fact that they cared so much made his smile widen. I made him happy too know that he had nakama that cared for his well being. So he laughed and laughed and he played along with their attempts at 'subtly' distracting him form his thoughts.

Luffy's nakama cared about him, they were there to stay and they wouldn't be leaving soon if he had anything to say about it.

**\But the best way to help someone understand you…**\

Luffy wasn't the only one who would think about the incident though. Despite not thinking about the incident during the day it was during the night that the memories came back to bite them in the ass. In the privacy of their own minds the memories played over and over again in their dreams. Haunting them and taunting them with different outcomes and different ending. Most of which were far worse than could possibly be mentioned now. It was worse during the beginning when the wound was still fresh. But the nightmares have faded since than. But they never faded completely after all, something as important and significant and frightening as that doesn't just leave you're thought over night.

And so, the Nightmares still haunt them all sometimes, but at those times, where they wake drenched in sweat shuddering painfully at what they now fully remembered, They would find someone holding them softly and saying soothing words. Eventually the person having the nightmare would calm down at these soothing words, instinctively trusting this person for some reason. And just before they fell back into darkness, they would see the faint outline of a straw-hat sitting daintily upon a mop of hair.

The next morning they would wake with no memory of the night prior, feeling as if someone had just left the room.

\**...is by saying nothing at all**\

_**Owari**_

_**The End**_

* * *

Hahaha I know that it's a bit later than what I first anticipated but to be honest I didn't expect to finish this story on time anyway. Well this is indeed the end. I know it was a tad bit wordy and I also know that there isn't much dialogue in this epilogue but that was done on purpose so don't worry. I also realize that the actual story is a bit short but to be honest I kinda was hitting a brick wall.

Any way, I want to thank everyone who has supported me and has read this story since the beginning. I won't name names because frankly there're so many of you. Just know that you are appreciated here.

Translations:

Gaki- Brat

Ero- pervert

Hana-flower (from the last chapter)

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See you soon!

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